Celebrating

This is my first post.
What do I write about?
My oldest daughters happy happy wedding three weeks ago.
My youngest daughters twenty first four months ago.
The publication of my book six months ago - Brilliant Positive Psychology- and the party I had to celebrate it one month ago.
Being married for 30 years, three months ago.
Becoming 50 seven months ago.
The courageous and tragic death of Bunty aged 36 and the wisdom and strength of Ned her son aged six, four months ago.
The last two books I read on holiday- The Junior Officers Reading Club and One Day, one week ago.
The launch of action for happiness two weeks ago.
Consciousness.
The joy of friendship.
The love of family in both grief and joy.
The importance of sisters and sisterhood.
The cost of gardening and sailing - the pleasure of gardening and sailing.
Wisdom and common sense.
Living through the biggest change since the reformation or the fall of Rome ......................... What really matters to me enough to write about it today?
All the above have filled and over filled the last seven months of my life and looking at the above list I think I must focus on the unusual number of celebratory events.

In the last seven months we have had three tents for celebration, the local marquee company in the village thinks our life is one long round of celebration but we have never had a tent in the garden before this year! We also watched, and supported as best we could, my husbands niece die of secondary cancer leaving her sister to bring up her son alongside her own three small children and nothing I could write about that would be adequate except to say her funeral was a perfect celebration and recognition of her unique life.

Life is the measure of the small, shaping and giving strength to the large. When we make the small things good, the big good things are better and the big bad things more bearable. Celebrating and marking the big events in life matters, but it is noticeable how much the big celebrations are an amplification of all the little things.

Relationships are built on numberless small kindnesses and shared moments. Each moment spent well, authentically and generously, whether laughing or crying, listening or sharing, each small intimacy becomes another drop in a pool of love and friendship. What has marked the last seven months for me has been the incredible joy of swimming in the lake that is the sum of all these pools.

Each event was very different, and each lake unique to the event. However each event was without doubt a reflection and celebration of love and friendship, new and old, all valuable and authentic.

The country's celebration on Friday was a wonderful example of swimming in all the good things. A mass celebration of the joy of young love and the hope invested at the start of a marriage. It was a celebration of a national identity, built over time as a nation represented in the pomp and splendor or individually in each person comming together to share in public celebration and joy.

Celebrating is one of the many ingredients of a happy life and as with everything that contributes to a happy life,when combined with other positive ingredients, such as generosity, kindness, recognition, gratitude and meaning (to name a few) it becomes more potent.

I included celebration in the 5th chapter in my book, the chapter on positive relationships, a small paragraph on page 120, on how to positively celebrate someone else's achievement. I am still learning and wish now I had written more but then there are so very many ways to build wellbeing and happiness......................This is that small paragraph; Celebrating and sharing good things is a very important aspect of positive relationships. Sharing good things can be done well and encourage trust and intimacy. We all know how good it feels when someone says well done, but it can feel even better when the ‘well done’ is well done!
Being positive and supportive involves responding to good news in a genuine constructive reaction that actively acknowledges the other and celebrates the event with them. Psychologist Shelly Gable has shown that this is vital to the health and well-being of all relationships but particularly builds intimacy and trust. Do’s and don’ts of positive celebrating. DO
Be genuine, and excited
Mark the moment
Be fully attentive and interested in all the details
Really enjoy your friend’s or partner’s achievement
Set your own needs aside.

DON'T
Talk about yourself and your achievements

Look for bad consequences or pour cold water on it: ‘that’s great but how will you cope . . afford it. . . etc.?’
Immediately change the subject or the focus of your attention
Ignore the news or event. Whatever you are doing today, if you are doing it with someone else, know that however small the kindness or shared joke or small attention you give or receive is adding to a pool of shared moments that will be part of who you are when in celebration together, yours or their celebration. Have you or someone you love a reason for celebration? If so start making the plans